greenboy
01-25-2008, 05:01 AM
Just so you all have an idea of what Green Boy is cooking in his great pot of bottomless ideas, here you go with a preview of what is to come! When it's finally finished, you can read it in the Blogiki, just look for Green Boy and/or a sin tag. Enjoy what I got so far! Oh, and progressive comments are greatly appreciated.
THE BIG BLEEP
by your one and only Green Boy
It was a fairly cool day in the quaint little redneck mountain town of South Park. The snow was glistening on the ground (despite a small urine stain from a now dead deer) A gunshot rings out. “WOO HOO!! Lookee there Ned!! I got ‘em!” hollered Jimbo “Nnnnnot bad. Not bad at all.” droned out Ned through his overworked artificial voice box. It almost seems as if nothing can go wrong in this little flegeling town, or can it?
Now we arive to a small schoolhouse which seems a little large for a town of it’s size. Inside we meet with Ms. Garrison, the 4th grade teacher.
“Dudes, I hope we have a sub soon” said Stan “Garrison’s gonna be on her period anytime soon.”
“Yea tell me about it dude!” answered Kyle. “Besides, I hate Ms. Garrison, she’s a f**king B**CH!” Right as he said that Garrison entered her classroom.
“G-d d**mit Kyle, why do you ALWAYS F**KING HOLLER SOMETHING RIGHT AS I WALK IN?!?!?”
“oh s**t” Kyle mumbled under his breath “Listen here you little bastard, one more outburst like that and I’m sending your little bastard ass to the PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE!! YOU GOT THAT??”
“Yes teacher, I won’t do it again.” Kyle replied meekly.
“Okay. Anyway class, we have a bit of a change going down today. I’ve decided to switch our Friday class schedule over to Monday, which means that the test we usually take on Friday in review of our previously learned material will take place on Monday before we’ve learned it. But since today is Wednesday it doesn’t matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!!”
“Wait up Garrison” chimed up the second Kyle also known as our Green Boy “how do you expect us to get a good grade on something we’ve never seen before?”
“Yea” piped in Kyle “that seems like a crock of s**t to me. What kind of sick f**ked up teacher would do that?”
“I WOULD!! Now Kyles you watch your F**KING mouths before I bash ‘em in! And just so you know sugartits that’s the whole premise of swapping class schedules.”
“Garrison” spoke Cartman aka fatass “why would you be such a b***h?”
“Cartman!!!” yelled Kyle in shock “I thought you were in juvie!”
“Yes, well my mother got me pardoned, so on you Jew! Hahah!” retorted the fatass
“Yea, she got you out by f**king the governor!!” shot back Green Boy
“Okay Cartman, Kyle, and Kyle I’ve already had it with you kids, so you all better shut up and DEAL WITH IT!! DO YOU ALL F**KIN UNDERSTAND ME?? Okay good, let’s get on with the lesson. Today’s starter lesson is a lesson on Bill Clinton, now does anyone know who Bill Clinton is or what he was?”
The lesson continued on for the normal two hours with numerous interruptions such as the one above. All the while the wheels began to turn in the heads of young Stan Marsh, Kyle Krustovski, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick. Slowly but surely sentience was coming around and it had a very interesting question to ask. Later that day at lunch break:
“Hey you guys” started off Stan as they were in the lunchline “have you ever noticed that whenever we say a bad word it gets bleeped out??”
“Yeah!” answered Kyle in his usual garb “It’s kinda eerie. But it doesn’t bleep out ass though.”
“Well duh dummy!” Cartman retorted “Ass isn’t even that bad of a word. Just like asshole, assmunch, asswipe, and asspounder is okay too.”
“Dude!! F**k you Cartman!! Asspounder is a f**kin really bad word!!” hollered out Kyle.
“But don’t you see Kyle?? Asspounder didn’t get bleeped while f**k did get bleeped.” replied Cartman
“Cartman, seriously, just f**k off okay??” chimed in Green Boy “You seriously need to lay off Kyle.”
“You think I’m laying into Kyle you asspounder little greenie???” said Cartman in a halfholler voice “Pshhh, you haven’t seen S**T yet!!”
“Dudes” said Stan trying to keep the guys from fighting “shut the f**k up and let’s get some food.”
Kenny replied in agreeance with an indistiguishable muffled voice.
“Kenny seriously” said Green Boy “let out the strings on your hood a bit so we can hear you.”
Kenny unties the choking knot on his coatstrings then speaks in a fluent voice “Okay fine, I guess the gag got old. But let’s go get some food, I’m f**king starving!!”
The gang makes it through the rest of the long line without much convo between them all, just the sounds of rumbling stomachs. When they finally arrive in the kitchen, what is found blows their little minds.
“Heello there children!!” said the man behind the counter, obviously a chef of sorts, just with a boonie hat instead of the usual chef garb.
“WHAT?!?!?!” exclaimed Stan
“WHO THE S**T ARE YOU???” exclaimed Kyle
“AND WHERE THE F**K IS CHEF??” exclaimed Green Boy
“DUDE, WHERE THE HELL IS THE SALSBURY?!?! HUH???” yelled Kenny.
“Hey hey hey!! Children, chill out y’all! The name’s B.D. Joe and I’m the new chef round here. Don’t worry, I was a good buddy of Chef, so I’s got all his recipes here. Salsbury Steak lil man? Here you go!”
“Hey guys” said Stan “I wouldn’t worry about it, this B.D. Joe seem okay”
“You think so Stan?” asked Kyle
“Yea, he even seems to know all that sex stuff that Chef knows” replied Stan
“YEA!! Ain’t no one here had more experience than your homie B.D. Joe. You lil brotha’s need help with ANYTHING, just holla.” said B.D. in a fairly emphatic and jubliant manner.
“Sweet! Thanks B.D. Joe!” exclaimed the group in perfect unison
“Hey, anytime!”
“Wait!! I got a question!” hollered Green Boy
“Well what is it lil green man?” said B.D.
“B.D. Joe, why is it that whenever we say bad words they’re always bleeped out? Like when I say f**k, or s**t, they’re bleeped” asked Green Boy
“Oh well that’s simple” answered B.D. Joe in an allknowing tone “It’s because the cracka ass producers have a censor on it. Why you ask?”
THE BIG BLEEP
by your one and only Green Boy
It was a fairly cool day in the quaint little redneck mountain town of South Park. The snow was glistening on the ground (despite a small urine stain from a now dead deer) A gunshot rings out. “WOO HOO!! Lookee there Ned!! I got ‘em!” hollered Jimbo “Nnnnnot bad. Not bad at all.” droned out Ned through his overworked artificial voice box. It almost seems as if nothing can go wrong in this little flegeling town, or can it?
Now we arive to a small schoolhouse which seems a little large for a town of it’s size. Inside we meet with Ms. Garrison, the 4th grade teacher.
“Dudes, I hope we have a sub soon” said Stan “Garrison’s gonna be on her period anytime soon.”
“Yea tell me about it dude!” answered Kyle. “Besides, I hate Ms. Garrison, she’s a f**king B**CH!” Right as he said that Garrison entered her classroom.
“G-d d**mit Kyle, why do you ALWAYS F**KING HOLLER SOMETHING RIGHT AS I WALK IN?!?!?”
“oh s**t” Kyle mumbled under his breath “Listen here you little bastard, one more outburst like that and I’m sending your little bastard ass to the PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE!! YOU GOT THAT??”
“Yes teacher, I won’t do it again.” Kyle replied meekly.
“Okay. Anyway class, we have a bit of a change going down today. I’ve decided to switch our Friday class schedule over to Monday, which means that the test we usually take on Friday in review of our previously learned material will take place on Monday before we’ve learned it. But since today is Wednesday it doesn’t matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!!”
“Wait up Garrison” chimed up the second Kyle also known as our Green Boy “how do you expect us to get a good grade on something we’ve never seen before?”
“Yea” piped in Kyle “that seems like a crock of s**t to me. What kind of sick f**ked up teacher would do that?”
“I WOULD!! Now Kyles you watch your F**KING mouths before I bash ‘em in! And just so you know sugartits that’s the whole premise of swapping class schedules.”
“Garrison” spoke Cartman aka fatass “why would you be such a b***h?”
“Cartman!!!” yelled Kyle in shock “I thought you were in juvie!”
“Yes, well my mother got me pardoned, so on you Jew! Hahah!” retorted the fatass
“Yea, she got you out by f**king the governor!!” shot back Green Boy
“Okay Cartman, Kyle, and Kyle I’ve already had it with you kids, so you all better shut up and DEAL WITH IT!! DO YOU ALL F**KIN UNDERSTAND ME?? Okay good, let’s get on with the lesson. Today’s starter lesson is a lesson on Bill Clinton, now does anyone know who Bill Clinton is or what he was?”
The lesson continued on for the normal two hours with numerous interruptions such as the one above. All the while the wheels began to turn in the heads of young Stan Marsh, Kyle Krustovski, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick. Slowly but surely sentience was coming around and it had a very interesting question to ask. Later that day at lunch break:
“Hey you guys” started off Stan as they were in the lunchline “have you ever noticed that whenever we say a bad word it gets bleeped out??”
“Yeah!” answered Kyle in his usual garb “It’s kinda eerie. But it doesn’t bleep out ass though.”
“Well duh dummy!” Cartman retorted “Ass isn’t even that bad of a word. Just like asshole, assmunch, asswipe, and asspounder is okay too.”
“Dude!! F**k you Cartman!! Asspounder is a f**kin really bad word!!” hollered out Kyle.
“But don’t you see Kyle?? Asspounder didn’t get bleeped while f**k did get bleeped.” replied Cartman
“Cartman, seriously, just f**k off okay??” chimed in Green Boy “You seriously need to lay off Kyle.”
“You think I’m laying into Kyle you asspounder little greenie???” said Cartman in a halfholler voice “Pshhh, you haven’t seen S**T yet!!”
“Dudes” said Stan trying to keep the guys from fighting “shut the f**k up and let’s get some food.”
Kenny replied in agreeance with an indistiguishable muffled voice.
“Kenny seriously” said Green Boy “let out the strings on your hood a bit so we can hear you.”
Kenny unties the choking knot on his coatstrings then speaks in a fluent voice “Okay fine, I guess the gag got old. But let’s go get some food, I’m f**king starving!!”
The gang makes it through the rest of the long line without much convo between them all, just the sounds of rumbling stomachs. When they finally arrive in the kitchen, what is found blows their little minds.
“Heello there children!!” said the man behind the counter, obviously a chef of sorts, just with a boonie hat instead of the usual chef garb.
“WHAT?!?!?!” exclaimed Stan
“WHO THE S**T ARE YOU???” exclaimed Kyle
“AND WHERE THE F**K IS CHEF??” exclaimed Green Boy
“DUDE, WHERE THE HELL IS THE SALSBURY?!?! HUH???” yelled Kenny.
“Hey hey hey!! Children, chill out y’all! The name’s B.D. Joe and I’m the new chef round here. Don’t worry, I was a good buddy of Chef, so I’s got all his recipes here. Salsbury Steak lil man? Here you go!”
“Hey guys” said Stan “I wouldn’t worry about it, this B.D. Joe seem okay”
“You think so Stan?” asked Kyle
“Yea, he even seems to know all that sex stuff that Chef knows” replied Stan
“YEA!! Ain’t no one here had more experience than your homie B.D. Joe. You lil brotha’s need help with ANYTHING, just holla.” said B.D. in a fairly emphatic and jubliant manner.
“Sweet! Thanks B.D. Joe!” exclaimed the group in perfect unison
“Hey, anytime!”
“Wait!! I got a question!” hollered Green Boy
“Well what is it lil green man?” said B.D.
“B.D. Joe, why is it that whenever we say bad words they’re always bleeped out? Like when I say f**k, or s**t, they’re bleeped” asked Green Boy
“Oh well that’s simple” answered B.D. Joe in an allknowing tone “It’s because the cracka ass producers have a censor on it. Why you ask?”