(A Collaboration Fanfiction with JVM, Cartooncutie16 and Mutt)
Chapter 3: A Mutt of All Sorts
“M’kay, kids, you need to learn to control your anger, m’kay? Violence is not the answer to things, m’kay? Now, you children need a punishment, but since we can’t do detention today over conferences, we’ve decided you’re going to show the new boy around, m’kay?”
“New boy?” they all freaked out.
A boy stood next to Mr. Mackey, wearing a dark blue hat over smooth brown hair. He had a laid-back look to his face in his brown pants, dark blue gloves and light blue parka. He smiled at them. “Kids, this is Jacob Duncan.”
The boy stood silent for a bit nervous about being in a new school. He would have gladly toured the school on his own but Mackey insisted somone guide him. Finally he spoke “Um…hey nice to meet you guys…and girl..oh and please call me Jake I hate Jacob..”
For a few minutes it fell silent until Ivy burst out laughing “You want US to show HIM around?” Ivy asked Mr. Mackey
Mr. Mackey nodded “I’m afraid so; this is your punishment”
“Wow what a great punishment Mr Mackey! I have sure learned my lesson!” Ivy said each word with obvious sarcasm.
“Punishment?” Jake asked. “You’re making them tour me around as punishment Mr. Mackey? You said they would volunteer to do that…I dont want them to see me as punishment…”Jake groaned…
“Mr. Mackey, I’ll show him around either way.” Kenny volunteered.
“No way in hell I’m showing this kid around.” Ivy said walking out.
“Ivy, don’t leave us! Don’t leave me with them!” Kyle called.
“Then come with me, I’m not going to stay here with Mr. Bighead over here.” Ivy said, glaring at Mr. Mackey, as she prepared to leave.
“C’mon Ivy, let’s just show him around. Please?” Kyle pleaded.
“Yeah, he seems like a nice guy.” Kenny added.
“Yeah, real swell.” Cartman said sarcastically.
“SHUT UP FATASS” everyone yelled.
“Fine I’ll show him, around” Ivy said, giving up.
“Um it’s ok I can show myself around ya know. Don’t want to feel like a burden to anyone.” Jake replied
“It’s fine, you seem like a cool dude,” Kenny replied.
“Yeah as long as you don’t become an asshole like my fatass cousin over here, it’s all good!” Ivy said smirking.
“AY! I’m not fat, I’m festively plump!”
“Can we get going now, Mr. Mackey?” Stan asked.
“Well..ok ” Jake responded after a while. “Lead the way,..” he said, following the four kids, Kenny staying a bit back, with Ivy staying as close to Kyle as possible. Stan and Cartman sighed. Suddenly the girls group walked up.
“Told ya so, Kyle,” they quickly said and most ran off. Laurie, Jenny, and Wendy remained.
“Hey Ivy,” Laurie and Jenny went their friend.
“Stannie!” Wendy jumped at Stan and hugged on to her loving boyfriend.
“Um…. I didn’t get names,” Jake broke the silence. “You’ll all go by numbers then you can be number one.” Jake says as he points at Kyle, You’re number 2″ Jake pointed at Cartman… “You can be number 3, Kenny, 4, and 5.,”Jake said with a smirk as he pointed at Stan and Ivy.
“Ha. I’m Kenny. Kenny McCormick.” Kenny put his hand out for a friendly handshake.
“Hey Jenny, Hey Laurie” Ivy said smirking as she didnt have a problem with them. She then looked at Wendy and Bebe and glared “Whores.” she mumbled but then faked a smile turning to Jake “Uhm my name’s Ivy not number 5″ Ivy said rolling her eyes.
“Hello Kenny.” Jake responded as he returned the handshake.
“Um, Ivy, we’re really sorry.” Wendy said, stopping as she and Bebe turned. “You’re right, the guys were oogling us.”
“Yeah, but I kinda like it.”
“YOU’RE NOT HELPING BEBE. We just wanted to apologize.”
Ivy still kept her glare at the girls she didnt really forgive people that easilly especially girls like Bebe and Wendy “Whatever” she said.
Tweek, John and Dan passed by, Bebe, Laurie and Jenny looked at them, “Hi guys,” Laurie and Bebe said.
“Yeah, hey,” Jenny said. John waved as Tweek twitched and Dan flipped Laurie off.
Kenny walked up to mutt “So where did you come from?” he asked as the girls returned seeing Ivy’s group expand.
“So, you and Kyle?” Lola asked Ivy, smiling. Ivy flipped off lola and held Kyles hand walking off
“What crawled up her ass and died?” Annie asked.
“Well I hail from this city in Pennsylvania. Easton ever heard of it? Anyone?” Jake asked. A few girls nodded.
“Wow really? All Easton has really is the crappy crayon factory..” Jake responded with surprise
“I guess I should ask what your family’s like.” Ivy asked Kyle, kind of caring
“So what’s your race?” Kenny questioned Jake.
“Fast,” Jake replied.
“Well,” Kyle began before being intrerrupted.
“Kyle’s mom is a big fat stupid bitch.” Cartman said.
Ivy just looked at cartman emotionaless as she raised an eyebrow “And your point is?” she asked
“Remember the American-Canadian War a while back? That was all Kyle’s mom’s fault. Kyle’s mom started that damn club-”
“I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL MY MOM A BITCH CARTMAN”
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL”
“Cartman…STOP SINGING YOU SUCK AT IT!” Ivy shouted as she threw a book at his head knocking him out cold.
“Why’s he singing?” Jake asked.
“Because hes an attention whore.” Ivy replied.
“Yeah,” everyone in the hall agreed.
“Quite so,” Pip added.
“Shut up Pip.” everyone in the hall said.
“Right-o.”
“Thank you, Ivy” Kyle smiled.
“Any time, Kyle.” Ivy said.
“So… I still didn’t get any names.” Jake complained.
“I’m Wendy Testaburger and this is Stan Marsh.” Wendy said, holding Stan’s hand.
“I’m Bebe,” Bebe then motioned to Tweek, “That’s the school spazz, Tweek Tweak. Although I think it’s kinda cute when he spazzes out”
“The fatass whos in disposed of right now is Cartman his first name is Eric but everybody calls him Fatass or Cartman if we’re in a good mood. Sadly, he’s my cousin…and the guy in the green hat is Kyle Broflovski.” Ivy said a small smile forming on her face as she said Kyle’s name.
Laurie was by Dan, and the two were in the middle of an arguement about some movie, “Oh this is Dan, and I’m Laurie.” they returned to arguing.
“Cool..” Jake responded
Jenny was next to John, “My name’s Jenny Graves, that’s John.” John gave a little wave.
Jake prodded at Cartman “Dude you ok?”
“Tell us more about you, Jake.” Kenny lowered his voice “But not as much as John told us about him…”
“Well I’m from this small city in Pennsylvania . I moved here about 3 wks ago with my family and um..I’m a mutt…and yeah “Jake replies
Cartman woke up only to hear the words im a mutt come out of Jakes mouth “PAHAHAHAHAHAHA JAKE IS A DOG” he said laughing his ass off.
“Eh well I’m of mixed heritages is what I mean but I’m a proud mutt, in fact that’s my own nick name Mutt.” Jake smiled a bit. “Probably find that retarded or something.”
“No way dude, that’s cool!” Kenny said.
“Yeah” Ivy said
“Your right jake that IS retarded YOUR retarded” Cartman said
“Fuck you fatboy!”
“Your right, Jake, that IS retarded… YOU’RE retarded!” Cartman said
“Fuck you fatboy!”
“Eh to each is own.” Mutt responded
“So what are you? Part Golden Retriever, Part Poodle? I always preferred German shepards, they get the job done…” Cartman said.
Passing by, Craig saw Cartman, “That’s what she said”
“Why do you always pick on new kids, fatass?” Kyle asked.
“Yeah, Mutt’s cool.” Kenny said.
“Nah I’m more of a Rottweiler/Doberman mix.” Jake replied to Cartman in a wiseass tone.
“Yeah, I wish he was my cousin instead of you fatass… as a matter of fact anybody would make a better cousin than you!” Ivy said glaring
“I’ll kick both your asses right here!” Cartman put up his fists.
“Oh come on you cant beat me? I beat your fatass in the cafeteria!”
Ivy laughed “HA! Face it, fatass, you can’t beat me! Never have, Never will! I have fist fought hundreds of times! Guess who won all those times? Me! That’s right, a girl can kick your ass, tubby!” Ivy said smirking.
Kenny gets in between them, “Stop it you two!”
“But seriously, I’m black on my dad’s side and Italian, Irish, Spanish, Swedish on my mom’s side…and Je…eh ok maybe not.” Jake added.
“Wow.” Jenny said while Laurie and Dan bickered as Cartman and Ivy did between Kenny, who was ignoring them as well.
“Oh God, this is gonna be a long fanfic…” John added.
To Be Continued…
Tags: Bebe, Cartman, Ivy, John, Kenny, kyle, mutt, south park, Stan, Wendy
